Dance for Camera
by littlebrownbear
Summary: A quirky dancer with an attitude. A brooding filmmaker with a big heart. Met through friends of friends and became fast enemies. What happens when these college seniors are forced to partner together for a collaborative art project? Will they finally push aside their hatred? Or will they bite each other's heads off before it's possible? A story of angsty kids, art, and compromises.
1. Happy New Semester

**This is my first Fanfiction so I apologize for any errors, awkward sentences, weird lines of dialog or anything else I could have done wrong. **

**All rights reserved. I don't own any of the original characters, just my recreations of them.  
Please enjoy~**

* * *

I woke up to a sunny sky, a warm cat's body, and an empty apartment this morning - which led me to believe that my sneaky room mate had slipped out in the late night or early morning for a couple extra hours with her man.

_You're going to see him when you get to campus. _

I sigh and roll my eyes at her, though she couldn't see me.

"No fancy coffee for you then." I scoff as I use the over expensive cappuccino maker she'd bought for us when we moved in. "That's her loss, isn't it Chihiro?" I bend down next to our cat and pet her head. She looks at me and meows. "Exactly." I nod and picked her up so I can have company while getting ready.

_At least the cat loves me._

"You love me, right?" I look down at her fat body, dangling limply in my arms. The minute I put her down in my room, she runs off.

_Nope, not even the cat._

**Breakfast in the cafe. Meet you in 15. - A**

My iPhone vibrates with a text from Ms. Missing just as I'm walking out the door.

**Kay babe, see ya there.  
Speaking of seeing you, where are you, Missy? Did you weasle off to a certain someone's apartment? - B**

**The answer, though completely obvious, is yes. If your next question is whether or not I had amazing sex while I was gone, the answer to that is yes as well. - A**

**Oh hush up! Says the bitter old cat lady with a weeping vagina. - B**

**Hah! We'll get you some soon, babe. Don't worry(: - A**

_Sure we will._

I make my short walk down the street towards CalArts. The campus is alive with people on our first day of the new semester. The sun is already high in the sky and deliciously hot on my skin as I cross the grass toward the main building.

"Hey, Bella! Happy new semester!" Garrett greets me with a smile from his post on the grass with Ben & Mike. They have a guitar and portable synth sitting near them. Mike has a harmonica hanging from his lips.  
"Happy new semester," I laugh at Garrett's supposed holiday "What are you guys up to?" I motion to the odd combination of instruments around them.  
"Making revolutionarily horrible music, as per." Ben tips his trucker hat at me.

"That figures. You guys are insane."

Last year at the final - more laid back - music concert, the three of them along with the rest of their out-of-the-box friends went on stage and played out of tune, out of rhythm, out of key and everything else you could think of "music". Mike took the initiative to sing R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" horrifically into the mic while the rest of the boys played madness behind him. The audience was dying with laughter and amusement at how much of the song Mike knew by heart until their teacher finally had enough and ordered them off the stage. I have no idea how they managed to not get kicked out of school.

"You can join us next concert, Bella." Mike smiles up at me and I roll my eyes.

"If there's gonna be a next concert."

"There has to be!"

"Yeah, we're graduating this year." Ben jumps in.

"This is our last chance to goof off and make fools of ourselves. We have to be adult after this." Garrett says.

"That should have happened when you graduated high school!" I laugh harder and shake my head at them.

"You are not nearly innocent, Bella." Garrett sighs at me. "You're just as bad as we are half the time."

_He's got me there._

I've always enjoyed goofing off with them, getting in trouble and making a fool of myself. I don't see why people become so put-off with the idea of making a scene.

"Well at least I can be serious when I need to be! See, look at me being adult right now. I'm leaving to meet Alice on time like adults do." I huff playfully.

"Soooo adult, Bella." Ben chuckles. "See you later."

"Yeah, see you guys." I wave goodbye to them and walk into the building.

Upstairs in the cafe, I see Alice sitting at a table, dressed like she walked out of an Urban Outfitters catalogue. She has on a floral headband, a crop top, a sheer yellow maxi-skirt with a turquoise slip underneath and gladiator sandals. I look down at my blue skinny jeans, crusty old dodgers baseball tee and flip flops with a frown.

"It's only Monday, Al. No need to dress like a supermodel until _at least _Wednesday." She jumps at my sudden appearance and rolls her eyes.

"I always look fabulous, even though you should instead because you're an actual supermodel."

I laugh out loud because to be honest, that's hilarious. Posing for clothing catalogues doesn't make me anything close to a supermodel.

"Hardly, Al." I set my duffel bag down. She sticks her tongue out at me, and I stick mine out right back then get in the line for food.  
When I'm finished buying breakfast and saying hello to Angela, I turn to walk back to our table and stop dead in my tracks.

_He _would_ ruin the first day back with his presence._

There he is in all his "glory". With his disgustingly sexy bed hair, wearing what I'm sure is a ridiculously over priced pale blue button down.

I straighten my back and do my best power-woman walk back to the table. He's talking to Alice as I put my tray down on the table loudly. He looks towards the noise and sees me standing above them.

"Cullen." I scowl and sit.

"Swan." He retorts with a curt head nod.

"Brandon." Alice says, just to be a bitch. We both turn to look at her and she smiles. "I thought we were saying last names? Or should I say Whitlock, because we're saying each others?"

Neither of us say anything until Alice takes another bite of her bagel, not phased by our tense staring.  
I go to open my yogurt and he takes the opportunity to start talking again.

"So as I was saying, Al - I think they were really impressed." his voice sends chills down my spine and I hate it.

"That's good, do you think you got the job?"

"I don't want to say I did until I know for sure, but I'm pretty positive."

I roll my eyes.

_I don't wanna jinx it but I'm pretty sure I did amazing as always. _

I mock him in my head. I look up from my food to Alice.

"Alice, what's your first class?" I can tell he was about to speak, but I cut him off. I can't fight the smirk that forms on my face when I hear him huff.

"The digital art class." She says "It's something I've never really tried out before so I thought it'd be a cool class to take in my 4th year. I can't wait to see how my artwork comes out digitally. It'll be so challenging. You know how I love a challenge. I'm really excited, Bella. I'm sure you can tell."

"_Yeah, _I can tell." I laugh.

Once Alice began that rambling-talk-thing, sometimes accompanied by squeals, you knew she was over the moon.

"What class do you have first?"

"Final recital prep. It's only on Mondays and Fridays because we have until the end of Spring semeter to coordinate it."

"What about you Edward?" she turns to ask him, cueing me to turn back to my food.

"Documentary II." He says with a head nod and an awkward silence envelops the table.

Alice sighs loudly and dramatically, put off by his and I's tension, as usual.  
I feel bad, putting Alice through this. She tries so hard to get us to be civil, but it just won't happen.  
After Alice met Jasper in an art-music collaboration class and became a perfect power couple, Alice wanted me get to know Jasper and his best friend and vice versa. So it was set up for all of us to hang out at Jasper's apartment he shares with Mike. The night before we were suppose to hang out, _him_ and a couple of his douche friends got completely shit faced and stormed into the costume department - destroying half of the dance concert costumes. Lets just say the next day ended up a disaster. _He_ showed up with a hangover, I showed up fuming. We argued like dogs, screaming. We had never met each other before, and our first impressions were less than savoury. It's been half a year since that day and we haven't made up. I don't think we ever will.  
"Where's Jasper?" I ask to break the silence.

"He had to run to the store before class."

"Ahh." I say, at a loss of what to do. I look at my phone and see that my class is starting in twenty minutes. "I have to go. Class starts in twenty and I need to change."

"Why don't you come in your clothes like a smart person?" _He_ asks all of a sudden, and I'm taken aback.

"What's it to you?" I retort, recovering my shock quickly. "I have other classes so I need to be dressed for those too." He's staring at me with those hard forest green eyes. "Who's a smart person now?" I grab my duffel bag and my trash. "See you later, Alice." I stand up straight and strut out of the cafe.

* * *

"Good morning, Bella!" Kate greets me as soon as I get inside of the studio. She runs over and gives me a hug. "I haven't seen you all summer! And your hair got even longer. How is that possible?"

I laugh and hug her back. "I just don't cut it. How was your summer break?" I ask her as we begin stretching and warming up.  
"Great! Garrett asked me out." she gives me a sly look.

"Holy shit! Finally! I was beginning to think I'd have to ask you out for him." Kate and Garrett have always had their eyes on each other but have never done anything about it. "Aw, I bet you two are so cute."

She sighs, "It's true. We're incredibly cute." We interrupt in a fit of giggles and she continues to tell me about her summer break until Victoria walks in.

"Good morning, my little dancers."

"Good morning, Victoria." the class greets her.

"Okay, we have a long time until the final recital, but we have to start preparing now. I'm sure all of you are aware how big a deal this recital is." She begins to pace the room, in her heels and leotard, bright red hair fanning behind her. Victoria - last name never given to us because apparently the V in Victoria sounds much more intimidating - has always been a great instructor. She lets us have our creative freedom, but she never hesitates to tell her opinion on something. May it be brutal honesty or high praise, it always makes us better dancers. For the next two hours, the twelve of us in class discuss themes, show works in progress and try to lay out some very basic details for the final concert.

* * *

We're out by noon and I change back into my normal clothes. I decide to walk back to the apartment for lunch before my next class at two. It's an experimental collaboration class, joining 4th years from dance, art and film. It's not a required class and is purely for fun. After the end film is made, the 4th year music students willing to participate are required to interpret the films without the original music and create pieces inspired by the picture. Collaboration has always been my favorite part of being an artist and I made sure I signed up to join the class, along with Alice and Jasper - though being a music student, Jasper won't be very active in the process until later.

When I walk in the apartment, I realize that I easily could have showed up to class in my dance clothes and came home and changed.

_He was right. Dick._

I grumble all the way to the shower, deciding to take one because I can. I put a little more effort into my clothes because I won't be getting out of them, changing into high waisted shorts and a black and white striped blouse. I let my hair air dry into a curly mess while I make myself a sandwich. My hair is too long to do it nicely everyday. I've been growing it out since my Freshman year in highschool, only trimming my dead ends off as needed. Now it touches the top of my butt.  
Chihiro jumps on the counter as I'm eating and meows.  
"Oh now you want me, huh?" she meows again and I take a piece of my turkey off of my sandwich and feed it to her. She meows again. "Greedy!" I scoff and pick her up off of the counter. I fill her bowl with food and sit down on the tile floor with my sandwich and watch her eat.  
"Don't mind me, Chihiro, just thinking." she doesn't look up from her post at her food bowl. "You know me, thinking all the time. You don't mind if I'm here, do you?" No acknowledgment. I sigh. "I'm talking to a cat."

Chihiro is still eating well after I finish my sandwich.

"Shibō!" I call Chihiro by her other, more fitting name - "fatty" in Japanese.

I look down at my fatty, scratch her behind the ear and then head off to my second and final class of the day.

* * *

When I get to the class, I realize it's being held in a much bigger room than the other classes. The room is one of our auditorium lecture halls.

_How many people signed up for this?_

I push open the big green doors and stand there completely stunned.

_Holy shit. Did everybody take this?_

There were tons of 4th years in the class. The seats were filled with people. Since this is the first day, the music students have to be here, but after today they aren't needed until closer to the end. Still, with the music students gone there are dozens of people in the class. Usually a class holds at max fifteen students. And that is still rare - normally classes are only eight to ten students.

**Are you here? - A**

My phone vibrates with a text and I quickly reply.

**Yeah, where the fuck are you in this mass of people? - B**

**Meet me at the front of the class and we'll find seats. - A**

I walk up to the front quickly and see Alice.  
"Holy shit." I say wide eyed as soon as I'm within talking distance.

"I know!" She exclaims. "This is going to be so great!"

I look around and notice the heads of the different departments for all the 4th year classes are there. Alice and I's art instructor Mr. Banner and Victoria are talking to each other. Mr. Banner sees me looking and waves me over.

"Ms. Swan, how nice to see you!" He smiles at me and I smile back.

"Same goes for you, Mr. Banner."

"I was just talking with Ms. Victoria and we were wondering if you'd be interested in a proposition?"

"Depends what it is, Sir."

"Well, since you are majoring in dance, you will no doubt be partaking in the dance segment of this class. Since you are also minoring in art, we were wondering if you'd like to also take on the art segment in whatever group you are paired up with. You would of course be getting special recognition if you decide to take up our offer." Mr. Banner looks at me expectantly.

_Do both dance and art direction for one group? Can I handle that? I'm sure I can, but I wanted to be paired with Alice... But jeez, with all these people I could be paired with anybody..._

"You know, Mr. Banner. I think I'll take you up on that. I love a good challenge."

"Perfect! It would have been really weird if you said no seeing as we put you down to do both anyway."

I laugh, "Thank you, Mr. Banner and Victoria. I won't let you down."

"I'm sure you won't. Now go find a seat because we'll be calling groups soon."

I smile at them and leave to find Alice, who is way up at the top waving and calling my name like a frantic woman for my attention.

"I see you, Jesus!" I scream at her from the floor and she laughs loudly, earning stares from students around me.

When I finally reach my seat next to her, the dean comes up to speak about the class. Then Mr. Felix Volturi, head of the film department, comes up to announce the groups.

"Group 11 - Kate Delani, dancer. Rachel Barkman, dancer. Jasmine Orthrow, film director. Jessica Stanley, art director. Mike Newton, composer."

"Oh wow, Mike's gonna have fun with all those women." I whisper to Alice and she snickers.

" Group 12 - Tanya Delani, dancer..."

"God, how did Kate end up with such a horrid sister?" Alice asks, but quickly puts her hand up to stop me from talking when she hears her name.

"Alice Brandon, art director..."

"Fuck, really? I got paired up with her?"

"...Tyler Crowley, film director. Jasper Whitlock, composer."

"Yes! My baby!" Alice squeals loudly enough for people in two rows in front of us to hear and turn around.

I slap my hand over her mouth. "Shh, Al!" I can feel her smiling widely beneath my hand, but she nods.

"Group 13 - Bella Swan, art director and dancer..."  
"Really?" Alice asks, surprised by my job title, though I'm not the first to be called with a joined title. I nod and continue listening.

"Edward Cullen, film director and composer."

"Fuck."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Let me know whatcha think?**

**Until next time~**


	2. Before It Started

**This is my first Fanfiction so I apologize for any errors, awkward sentences, weird lines of dialog or anything else I could have done wrong.**

**All rights reserved. I don't own any of the original characters, just my recreations of them.  
Please enjoy~**

* * *

"Group 13 - Bella Swan, art director and dancer. Edward Cullen, film director and composer."

"Fuck."

I feel all the air leave my lungs and I turn to look at Jasper sitting to my right.

"Jazz."

"I know."

"This sucks."

"I know."

_Jasper thinks he knows. He doesn't really know. Not even the half of it. _

I've had the hots for Bella Swan since before our 1st year began. I saw her at orientation, across the room in the Q - T line, getting her schedule. Her hair is what caught my attention first, so long and dark and thick and curly. Not many girls commit to growing their hair 2/3rds down their backs. And then she was dressed oddly. It's an art school, so I guess everybody dresses weird. But she was like an odd-sexy. She had on these African tribal print pants and a white t-shirt that was way too big for her and covered in paint, tied at her waist. The pants hugged every curve of her ass and thighs and the shirt left a sliver of creamy stomach showing and her shoulder peeked out from the shirt collar. I don't know why I was so captivated by her. But I knew any other girl could have worn it and it wouldn't have looked as good. As perfect. And then she began to sweep her long hair into her hands, twisting and turning it until I shaped itself into a small bun at the very top of her head. It was like magic, watching all of that hair disappear into the small confines of a rubber band. She rolled her neck and stretched her back. Watching her move was like watching softcore porn. It was so sensual and so innocent. She obviously had no clue of the power her body possessed.

As if by luck, around the end of orientation, she moved closer to me. I got to really look at her face. Big brown eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Pouty, bow-tie lips. A cute button nose. I just stared at her, begging to the heavens that she wouldn't catch me.

"Hey, I really like your pants." A girl wearing glasses with normal boring-length hair said to her.

"Oh, thanks." she said back. She looked so taken-aback by the complement, almost embarrassed. "My Mom got them made for me." her voice was so soft and she sounded so sad.

_What's wrong? _

"They're really cute. I'm Angela, by the way. What's your name?"

"Bella. Nice to meet you, Angela."

_Bella. How fitting._

"You too, Bella. What's your major?"

"Dance. Minor in art."

Dance. Her body...dancing? I'm pretty sure I was sporting a semi-hard erection by that point. Just watching her innocently stretch her back had me up in knots. But her using every part of her body to move to music - to twist and turn and jump and glide? I couldn't even fathom.

"I'm in dance, too! I'm so glad I met you. I'll at least have one friend on the first day."

Bella nodded. "Same." she smiled then, and my eyes went wide. Her smile was so sweet, accompanied by pink-tinted cheeks. I was a goner.

For the next year, I became the type of man I always told myself I wouldn't be.

I never spoke to her. I always watched her from a distance. I never stalked her or anything, but whenever I saw her on campus, all I could do was stop and stare. I went to every dance recital and was mesmerized every single time. She danced like silk, she danced like rain, she danced like electricity. She danced like nobody else. She could move swiftly like she was a feather, powerfully like she weighed a ton, freeze like time had stopped, fall like gravity failed to exist, do it again and again and again. She could move across any surface as if it was ice, she could pirouette for days. It's like her body defied all laws of physics. How can one have that much control? To move her body as sweet as a breeze, then transition to a animalistic beast in a heartbeat. It's like her body screamed, it's like her body sang.

You'd think that after I found out she was Alice's best friend, I would rejoice and do everything I could to not fuck up my meeting with her for the first time. I guess I'm not that smart.  
I was so happy. I couldn't wait to be near her.

I would get to say:

"Hi, I'm Edward."

Finally.

I just couldn't wait.

But I got drunk as hell the night before. Emmett was back in town. I let him take me out drinking and I got shit faced.

I went to the costume department way past curfew and ruined everything.

I'd been going there in the late hour for months - ever since I had to go there looking for costumes for a film of mine and found some of Bella's dance costumes instead. I would sneak in, I'd just sit there and touch them, smell them.  
I felt like such a pedofile. I didn't regret it until that night.

I always took the utmost care with her costumes. She couldn't know I'd been there. How do you explain that?  
But Emmett...he had no idea. Neither did James, neither did Alec, neither did were too drunk to have any idea. Too drunk, too far gone, too in their own fuzzy stupors.

They had no idea.

They had no idea that they shouldn't have been there.

They had no idea that the precious costumes meant more to me than met the eye.

They had no idea that lit cigarettes and broken bottles of beer could burn down a building.

They had no idea.

I don't remember any other part of that evening. Everything else is a blur of drunken fun.  
But that costume department consumed by the giant licks of flames, the metal racks melting, the clothes slowly turning to ashes - I will never forget that.

I should have been expelled. I shouldn't be in this class right now, completing my 8 semesters at CalArts. But a rich father can smooth almost any situation over.

I think that's half the reason she doesn't speak to me.

She wants me gone. She doesn't think I deserve to be here. I don't think so either. But I still take every selfish moment I see her, and I cherish it.

The day after the incident was disastrous. I had gone to Jazz's place that night and cried on his couch in an emotional whirlwind, drove by a stomach full of booze. I guess he told Alice before morning, because the next day Bella stormed into Jazz's apartment and unleashed a tidal wave of screams my way. I screamed back. I didn't know why. I think I enjoyed the sound of her voice so much - I would even take it in the form of curse words and wishes for me to go to hell.  
She was crying, she looked crazy. It was so beautiful. I wanted to film it, slow it down. Submit it to every film festival and win every award. But I didn't. I couldn't. So we just screamed. We screamed until she fell to her knees in front of us.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU."

Alice ran to her, took her by the shoulders, and stood her up.  
"GOOD. HATE ME!"

I just stared at her defeated form and thought:

_What have I done?_

I guess in that moment, hating me was better than not knowing I existed.

She glared at me. She stood tall, proud. She turned and walked away like nothing happened.

And then Alice screamed and left after Bella. And then Jasper screamed and left after Alice. And then I screamed all alone in the apartment, leaving after noone.

Alice and I met two weeks later. Alice slapped me and threatened to rip my face off. Alice told me I was a dick. Alice told me I should be sorry. Alice saw me grow distraught with every word that flew from her mouth. Alice felt bad for me. Alice and I are okay now.

Bella on the other hand...is walking over to me at this moment looking like she wants to be anywhere but near me.

She's got her hands balled at her sides, hair flowing behind her. She looks pissed.  
_But those shorts._

Fuck. High-waisted. My favorite on her.

I open my mouth to speak.

"Shut up." Mouth shut, gotcha. "We are fucking stuck together for the next three months, minimum. I'll do my part, you do yours."

"Aren't we supposed to collaborate?"

"Who told you you could talk?"

"Uh..."

"Noone, exactly." She's got her hands on those hips. She looks so hot when she's angry. "I'm going to go home now, decide whether I'm dropping this class. I'm not giving you my number. You will not call me to discuss this. You need to contact me, you come find me and you keep it short. Now, I bid you a-fucking-dieu."

Bella turns on her heels and struts away. She's really good at that. And her ass looks really good when she does that.

Once she's far enough away, I realize what just happened.

A wave of utter sadness washes over me and I begin to walk - more like drag - myself out the door. It's always like this with her, happiness that she's acknowledged me, sadness because it's always with the worst of intentions.

I'm stopped in my tracks by the top of a spiked head of jet-black hair.

"Edward?" she asks me, she sounds about as sad as I feel. She's the only one who knows how I really feel about Bella. I grunt in response. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head. "This fucking sucks, Alice. I don't know what to do."

I'm suddenly enveloped in a set of small, warm arms. "Everything will be okay. I foresee it."

"You're not a fucking psychic, Al."

"Okay, Brooder. I know you're sad, but that doesn't mean you have to pretend reality isn't real."

"I'm not in the mood, Alice!"

"God, okay." she pulls away and taps her finger to her chin for a minute. "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but this project is your foot in the door for a better relationship with Bella."

"Oh yeahhhhh. Because she's going to be spending so much time talking to me. We'll be buddies in no time. That makes so much logical sense."  
"It does. Bella is a grades maniac, and she won't let you mess up her A streak."

"She'll find a way to do it herself."

"If you persist, and continue to nag her to talk to you - I promise you - It. Will. Happen."

"And then what: 'Oh, I've been bothering you for your attention for a week. Hi, how ya doing? We gonna start this project now, or what?'"

Alice sighs - exasperated. "Stop being such a pussy! You are _such a pussy, Edward. _Be a fucking, man! You want something? Go get it! She may seem strong - and she is - but once you find an opening, it's hard for her to resist. So get your head out of our ass and figure out a plan." And with that, Alice turns and struts away.

_Bella's obviously rubbed off on her. Women._

I sigh loudly and continue my walk out the door, down the street, to my loft-like apartment, and finally to my couch.

This_ woman._

I knew this day would come - where I'd have to suck it up and do something about our seemingly eternal dispute. I lay back on my couch and stare up at the ceiling.

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do." I sing up into the vast nothingness that is my apartment.  
I've always hated being alone for long periods. I'm so used to having a big house filled with siblings and loud noise and barking dogs. When I moved out, my father bought me this loft.

"_It'll be good for you." _he said

"_Just down the street from the school, already paid for, spacious." _he said.

But instead it's become a lonely prison of solidarity and emptiness.

I'm so emo. Sometimes I'm surprised Emmett hasn't punched me in the face for the things I say.

I get up to eat something and decide to devise a game plan for Bella while eating my store bought pizza.

I know I have to start small. I can't just go up to her and demand for her to forget about all that happened. I should probably start by apologizing? It frustrates me to think that I haven't already. I wonder if this all could have been avoided if I'd apologized.

_I'm such a dick._

But she always avoided me, and once she could be in the same room with me, I felt it was too far gone.

_Shoulda tried anyway. But it's never too late, is it?_

So apology first, definitely. But when?

**What's Bella's first class tomorrow? - E**

I text Alice. I don't know what I'm really trying to do here. I didn't even realize I had texted Alice until I hit send. Five minutes later when she responds, I'm still at a loss.

**She has experimental art with me at 11. It's in room 45C. Why? - A**

**Trying to not be a pussy. - E**

**Atta boy. Game plan? - A**

**Nope. - E**

She doesn't respond for a long time. I get up, change out of my clothes and play around with some guitar riffs - it's 6pm by the time she gets back to me.

**Come around early tomorrow. 9:30ish. Take her for coffee down the street. - A**

**How am I supposed to get her to come with me? - E**

**Just show up at our apartment at 9:30 and ask her for coffee. - A**

**Really? - E**

**Really. - A**

So with that in mind and knots in my stomach, I finish whatever homework I have, watch a film restlessly, and then decide to go to sleep. I wake up at 6 in the morning.

Normally, I wake up late - around 9 - and I was hoping to be asleep until then today. But no, my nervous body decided it wanted to wake up three hours ahead of schedule. It proves difficult to find things to fill my time. Especially with nervous jitters.

I pace my kitchen, take half an hour to eat a bowl of cereal, take a half an hour shower, jog in place, do some push-ups, take another shower, get dressed, and finally walk out the door at 9:20.

When I get to the gate of their complex I can't go any further.

_Fuck, no. This is dumb. This is crazy. What am I gonna say? Why didn't I think about that during the fucking half-hour I spent jogging in place? You're stupid as hell, Cullen. You should hit your head off of a wall. Maybe you'll knock yourself out & be saved from all of this. Goddamnit. _

_Alice will be so disappointed if I back out. _

_Don't be a pussy._

"Uh..." I stare at the gate keeper.

"Yes?"

"Swan, Brandon residents?"

"What about it?"

"Can I um...go there? Maybe?"

_Wow, fuck. I really should rethink that wall strategy. _

"Sure, sugar. Let me buzz you in."

"No! Don't call them." She looks at me like I'm bat shit crazy. "It's a...surprise."

She's still looking at me like I'm bat shit crazy. I smile. She rolls her eyes, but the gate comes open.

"Thank you, Ms..." I look at her nametag, "Lenette."

"_Mmhmmm_." She turns away from me and I'm sure it's because she still thinks I'm absolutely, positively, bat shit crazy.

_Hey, I don't blame her._

I walk up to their building, up to their floor level door, and knock.

I'm met by a face full of Bella. She's got on an oversized shirt with a brown bear hugging the state of California on it, and super tiny sleep shorts. She's got this innocent face on that I've only seen once before. But all too soon, wide confused eyes turn hard, and open pouty lips turn into a frown.

_Goodmorning to you, too, Doll._

"Alice, there's a man here for you."

_W O W._

I'm not even Edward to her.

"Um, actually!" My voice speaks before my brain says it's okay. She turns and looks at me, hands on her hips. "I'm here to see you."

"Well what-the-fuck-ever for, Mr. Cullen?" She asks in an overly sweet, British accented voice - just oozing with sarcasm.

"I...uh..." I'm looking down at her staring up at me, but she's definitely the one in control of this situation. I'm running my hands through my hair rapidly. She's always got me shaking in my shoes.

"Spit it out, dunce."

_Time to take back control, Cullen._

"I was wondering if you wanted to...like...maybe have coffee or something?"

"I have coffee right here with Alice's shitty cappuccino maker. I'm good."

"Hey! Rude." I hear Alice call from inside. "Oh, hi Edward!" She walks over to the door. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Yep, a real pleasure." Bella mutters. Alice jabs her in the side and Bella exclaims.

"What's up?" Alice looks at me with eyes that say "play along".

"I'm actually here to ask Bella to coffee. I needed to talk to her."

"About what?" Bella butts in.

"Um..."

_How do I explain this without making her hate me more?_

"Just...some things."

"Project things?" Alice asks with that look again.

"Uh, yeah! Project things."

"I think you should go, Bella." Alice says, looking at her encouragingly.

"I don't think so."

"But I do."

"This situation makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't like feeling uncomfortable."

"We all do things that make us feel uncomfortable."

"We do things that make us feel uncomfortable if we _have_ to. I don't _have_ to do this."

"You're right, you could always fail?"

Bella turns to her then and they seem to have a conversation between them with their eyes. Bella turns back to me and looks at me for a good ten seconds before slamming the door in my face.

I don't know what to do. I just stand there. Confused, upset, distraught, stunned. But not then minutes later, Bella's got the door back open and she's dressed in jeans, studded flats, and a sheer white button up. I really wish she hadn't of put a black top underneath, because I know I could have seen her bra if she hadn't.

"Stop looking at me like that, Pedo." She snaps me back into reality. Her hair is all pulled back in one of those buns, and her face is without obstruction. I can't help but stare at her, with her porcelain skin, plum lips and her angry eyes. "Are we driving?" she asks me, walking past me down the few stairs.

"No."

"What a gentleman." I can practically hear her eyeroll.

"It's just down the street, I thought we'd walk."

"Whatever."

We begin down the street in silence, and it strikes me that this is the most we've ever spoken to each other at once since that day. I look over at her staring straight ahead. I can't help but think...I might actually have a chance.

* * *

**Ok, so they're headed to the coffee shop. Would you guys like the next chapter in EPOV or BPOV?  
Please let me know what you think, and your predictions! **

**Until next time~**

**-LBB xoxo**


	3. Coffee Shop Break Down

**I know it's been an incredibly long time. I had major writers block.**

**But moving on.**

**This is my first Fanfiction so I apologize for any errors, awkward sentences, weird lines of dialog or anything else I could have done wrong.**

**All rights reserved. I don't own any of the original characters, just my recreations of them.  
Please enjoy~**

* * *

**BPOV**

It was weird walking next to Edward, such close proximity. We'd never been that close before.

I didn't speak the whole way here, I didn't want him to believe that this was okay in any way, shape, or form. I kept my head high, looked straight ahead, and kept my distance. When we got to the cafe, he opened the door for me and I almost rolled my eyes at his chivalrous attempt, but I didn't say anything.

"What can I get for you, miss?" The man at the counter asks me, smiling. He's kind of cute, redhead, freckles. Geeky looking, but adorable.

I smile back because I'm not always upset. Only around _him._

"Green tea frappuccino, please."

"Of course. That'll be $3.25. May I have a name?"

I reach into my purse to get my wallet.

"Bella." I say.

"Bella." He repeats as he writes it on the cup, then takes the 5 dollar bill from my hand. "That will be coming up shortly, Bella."

"Thank you." I take my change, and walk over to the side. I look around the cafe and see him sitting there, looking at me. He quickly looks away.  
I sigh, because he looks nervous.

_Why am I even here, letting him talk to me? Why did I let Alice talk me into this?_

I _almost _feel bad for him - looking all jittery, fingers running through his hair - but then I remember everything that went on between us and I can't feel bad anymore.  
I'm not usually one to hold grudges, but he doesn't understand the weight of his actions. And he never apologized. He just yelled at me. Though I never gave him much of a chance to apologize on that day, he could have come up to me a week later. I might have heard him out. Maybe.  
But it's too late now. It's too far gone. I doubt he's sorry. And if he is, he's never going to admit that.

"Bella?" The lady who made my drink calls.

I smile and wave, taking my drink off of the counter.

"Thank you."

I walk over to get napkins, even though I don't need them. I'm stalling, I know it.  
The worst part about this situation is, even though looking at Edward makes my blood boil, even though he made my life hell for a months, even though he's going to our school undeservingly - I find him incredibly sexy - and, when his hard eyes falter, he doesn't seem like such a bad guy. Maybe he's just like me? Not acting like himself around me because he feels he has to put up a fron.

I think that's why I let Alice talk me into coming.

_But he still never apologized._

In all honesty, I don't know if I could handle it if he did. The situation was emotionally dead a long time ago. After I dealt with my dance instructor, the shame, the guilt, and the loss of a relationship that finally felt like it was repairing.

_He'll never understand why what he did was so incredibly horrible._

He doesn't know about me, and my fucked up home life. All he sees is this art college version, the girl away from her parents. He's not there when I'm crying in bed at night.  
I don't expect him to know these things. But fuck, he never apologized for the surface of the issue. For the burnt clothes, the lost money.

_So fucking rude._

I take a deep breath, turn around, and walk over to him. I take the seat across from him and sip from my drink.

"You getting anything?" I ask, making him look up from the floor to me.

"Uh, no. No I'm good."

I shrug, and continue to drink. I refuse to make this conversation easy for him.

I don't know how long we've been sitting here with silence between us, but he finally sighs and looks up at me again.

"Bella?"

"What?"

"Bella, I..." He goes silent and it looks like he's struggling for words.

"I don't have all day." I snap, still upset about the thoughts I was having moments before.

"I don't know how to say start."

Goddamnit. This sounds like bad news.

_Is he going to back out of the project?_

"Neither do I, so figure it out." I move my eyes to my cup of green slush, and read the words on it for lack of a better thing to do.

"Bella, I'm sorry."

_So he _is_ backing out. Fucker._

But he sounds so...sad.

And I can feel my heart twist. "Bella, I know I don't deserve your sympathy or anything..."

_No, no you don't. You chose to back out. No sympathy from me._

He runs his hands through his hair. "But I am really, really sorry."

_Stop apologizing and be done with it!_

"About what?" I ask. I sound so cold.

"About..." He looks like he can't even say it.

_Oh my God, get it over with so I can leave._

I open my mouth to speak and say I'll find a new partner, but then he says.

"About that night. The night I...burned...everything. All the costumes."

_Fuck._

His words trigger a full body reaction. Hearing him say it, actually saying he did it - it makes my heart beat twice as fast. Adrenaline shoots through my veins like rapid fire and I feel like crying.

_He's never actually said he did it before. _

Even while we were yelling at each other the day after it happened.

I can feel my body reacting uncontrollably.

_This is not good._

"Shut up!" I can hear the water in my voice, and I wonder how distorted my face looks as I try to contain my emotions.

_I can't handle this._ I feel like I'm breaking down. I didn't see this coming.

"I don't want to hear your excuses." I spit at him. I really just want him to stop talking about it.

"I'm not trying to give you excuses!" His voice is pleading me.

_Stop talking about it!_

"_Project things" _he'd said. This is not project things.

"It was a huge mistake and I want to take full blame."

_Oh my God._

"Stop it!"

"I do! I'm being serious! I deserve that!"

_Don't you know what stop it means? Shut up!_

The roles have switched, I feel like the weak one now.

I'm shaking my head, and every time my eyes pass over him, I see his pained expression. I don't know why I thought rattling my brain around would calm me down, because it does the opposite.

_I can't handle this._

I shake my head faster. I feel like I'm spinning out of control.

_Stop shaking your head stupid, get a grip!_

Deja vu to the night it happened, deja vu to the morning after, deja vu to my collapsed form on our apartment floor.

_I. Am not. Weak._

I don't know what's happening, but suddenly I'm on my feet, and the outside air is hitting my face. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself.

_Fucking anxiety. Fucking broken girl._

I take a seat on the curb, and begin to breath.

_1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8..._

I can feel my pulse slowing, and all of a sudden my body feels too heavy.

"You left this."

I can't compute who's behind me until I look at him. He's got my purse in his hand.

I don't have the energy to be angry.

He takes my silence as acceptance as he sit on the curb next to me. I want to get up and walk, but I know I'll end up getting dizzy and collapsing.

I begin to wipe my eyes off with my hands, glad I didn't wear make up. I know my face is red as hell right now.

"I'm sorry...for that night and for now." He begins.

_Goddamnit._

"I wish you'd stop talking about it."

"I know this sucks for both of us, but I need to get this out."  
"How is that fair to me?" I finally turn to him. I'm angry now, and he can see that. He blows out a breath.

"I guess it isn't..."

"Well at least you're honest." I begin to stand up, but a strong hand catches my wrist.

"Please, Bella."

And there's that face again, the one that makes my heart twist. I sit back down.

"You say you want to apologize, but you don't even understand what you did."

_You don't understand how fucked up my life was after that._  
"I know what I did! I burned down an entire costume department. How could I not know?" he sounds like he thinks I'm stupid. Like it's so obvious.

"You don't know what those meant to me." I whipster out. I don't want him to hear my voice wavering. I can feel the air shift as it dawns on him that he's done more than he can comprehend.

His voice is softer now. "You're right, I don't."

His hand is still on my wrist and it's oddly comforting - it feels perfect in a way I've never experienced. But I pull away from him and hug myself. He can't know that I like anything that he does. He can't know that I think he might be an awesome guy if we weren't so hostile. And he especially can't know what goes on in my head or heart.

"You don't deserve to know." I choke out, remember everything that happened weeks afterwards.

And then I can feel the anxiety again, pulsing through my body. I hug myself tighter and press my face to my knees.  
"Fuck." I say, but I comes out more like a sob.

He doesn't understand what he did. He doesn't understand, and even if I told him, I doubt he'd comprehend it. With his perfect rich family and loving siblings.

Those costumes were more than just costumes.

And I begin to cry, in the parking lot of a coffee shop, next to the only man I've let myself hate.

All of a sudden I feel a hand on my back, rubbing me, comforting me. And I don't know how to react. I look over at him, and I expect him to draw his hand away. But he doesn't. His eyes hold mine in a mixture of sympathy and resolve.  
_But resolve to do what?_

I don't know, but in that moment, I feel too weak to put up a fight.

"Look, you don't have to tell me what's up with you. You're right about me not deserving to know. But I hope that we can try to reach some common ground where we're not yelling, or arguing, or...crying. Because...I think you deserve better than that. You don't deserve to hold this constant anger inside of you, because I know how draining that is. If we can accept the fact that I've fucked up beyond belief and that I'm tremendously sorry, then maybe we can be okay?"

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. Because he's right, it is draining.  
"Let's get you back to Alice then, okay?"

I feel him taking me by the arm and standing me up. He puts my purse on my shoulder and begins to walk me out of the parking lot.

"I can walk myself."

He looks so deflated, but backs away.  
In reality, I knew I wouldn't be able to think straight if his perfectly comforting hands were on my back.

The whole way back up to the apartments, I struggle to grasp what shifted between us in the past 30 minutes. Maybe he's right about us needing to put this behind us. It's so unnecessary, our hostile relationship. We can be civil. Right?

Why should I spend my life with this over my head and in my heart. I've spent too long teaching myself to be a good person to let Edward & I's relationship ruin my progress.

_Forgiving doesn't make you weak._

Nana always said that. And if anything, I should be living by her example - she's the only one who ever knew what was right in my life.

When we reach my door, I know my decision.

"Edward?" I look over at him, he's been avoiding looking at me since we left the parking lot.

He turns to look at me with a surprised expression. I don't think I've ever called him by name.

"Yeah?"

"Let's just start over, okay?"

His expression goes from confusion, to surprise, to complete joy. The smile he's sporting warms my belly up. I feel rewarded. I can feel myself blush, and I can't help but smile back. It feels nice to smile at him.

"Really?" he asks.

"Really." I answer.

"Oh my God, thank you! You won't regret this! I promise I'm nothing like I've been perceived."

"I hope so. I'm nothing like I've been perceived either."

"I know." He looks at me with eyes I've never seen, so warm and tender, and I blush ten shades darker under his gaze. "I'll see you tomorrow okay? And we can start over." He suddenly looks like he's struggling to decide on something. I just ignore it.

"Okay." I nod, and turn away quickly to run up my front stairs. I open my door, and go inside without looking back. As I collapse on my couch, I can feel a huge weight lift off of me - a weight I didn't even know was there - and then the weight is replaced by a feeling of content happiness, and it scares the shit out of me.

* * *

**EPOV**

Oh my God, I feel like a new man.

_Alice, I have to call Alice. Wait, is she home? Bella's home. _

Bella can't know how happy I am right now. That would be embarrassing.

_Okay, text Alice. I can do that._

As soon as I'm out of their complex gates, I wave to the gate lady with a huge grin on my face.

She waves back, but looks at me like I'm a psycho. I can't even find it in me to care. I grab my phone out of my pocket.

**Alice! I did it! I fucking did it! - E**

It feels like my heart is soaring. I can't believe that just happened. Everything was so surreal at first.

Watching her cry, run away, looking like she was about to pass out - I felt a frantic need to help her. I needed any excuse to find her, knowing that finding her just for the sake of it would make her upset. When I saw she left her purse sitting on the floor, it felt like a sign. I grabbed it like my life depended on it and ran to see where she went. I didn't have to look far. The sight of her broken body sitting on the curb made me feel like a knife was stabbing me in the gut. I felt like I was going crazy until I grabbed her wrist. I couldn't let her leave, and her skin is so soft. And her body is so small and perfect under my big hands. I didn't want to stop touching. When she ripped her arm out of my grasp, I felt like there was no turning back. Like I had completely fucked up to the point of no return. But then she didn't pull away when I tried to console her, and she let me help her stand to take her home. And when we go to her apartment, she said we could start over.

And fuck me if that didn't make me feel on top of the world. I could feel the difference and I just wanted to hug her, but I knew that was overstepping my boundaries.

_For now._

Yes, for now. Maybe some day. I hope.

**I TOLD YOU. - A**

My phone buzzes in my hand and I laugh at Alice.

**You did. Thanks Al. - E**

**Okay, she looks like she's been crying though. What did you do? - A**

**I tried to apologize and she broke down...I don't know why. But by the time we got back to your house, she said we could start over. I still don't know how I got this lucky. - E**

**Well I'm happy for you, but don't fuck this up. She seems really...shook up. - A**

That's the last thing I want to hear. But I know if I am on my best behavior, she can see the good in me and overlook all that's happened.

_But can she really? What about all those things she said you didn't deserve to know?_

Fucking subconscious.

This is going to be one hell of a ride, and I can only hope she won't revert back to how she was before.

* * *

**Okay, so after a whirlwind of events - we've reached a conclusion!  
****But how will things be later in the day after this new development sets in?  
I sense awkward conversations on the horizon~**

**Please let me know what you think!**  
**It's really difficult to get inspired to write if I have nothing to work off of.**

**Anyways, until next time!**

**-LBBxoxo**


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